How to Encourage and Motivate Young Children

It’s one of the key questions we ask ourselves as parents: how can I get my young kids to clean their room, do their chores, learn proper etiquette, all while picking up life skills that will serve them well in the classroom and beyond? It’s a tall order! Getting kids to build their confidence, resilience and creativity is one of the key developmental milestones parents can help with.

Research tells us there are some clear general rules: go easy on rewards and punishments – avoid bribery and blackmail! Kids are probably more intuitive than you think, so try to think about learning from their point of view. With that in mind, here are some top tips to kick-start their lifelong learning journey.


1. Play

The more open-ended the better: think building blocks like Duplo, which help to teach concepts like balance and scale along with ‘soft’ skills like self-expression. As kids get older, toys like dolls and action figures are a great way to develop empathy and storytelling. With this type of play nothing can really go wrong, and no one can win or lose – it’s all about building a safe space for learning and experimentation. And what would be even better is if you get involved too – studies show that when kids play with adults, they become more engaged.

Another great place to start is Schooling Online’s Life Stage series, full of interactive, game-based, self-guided videos in which kids learn through narrative how to solve everyday challenges. Working their way through the series is another great way to build a sense of achievement.


2. Independence

Kids love to be given choices, however small they might seem to you: what would they like for lunch (within reason)? What would they like to wear to pre-school? If you create space for kids to express their opinion and you show that you value their input, you might be surprised by how responsive they are. But just as important as involving yourself is giving them space to learn and grow on their own terms. Allow them to get bored and see what they do. Allow them to make mistakes and lose games. That teaches children how to be good losers, and often makes them want to practise more and try harder.

Take, for example, the Schooling Online video from our Life Stage series: The Journey to Oaktree Glen, in which Quincy the rabbit finds an alternative route for his community to make the journey to fresh grass. Videos like this impart vital life skills, like problem-solving and the value of thinking outside the box.


3. Positive reinforcement

When you’re lavishing praise on something your child has done, the cardinal rule is: make it honest, and make it specific. Say for example your kid has handed you a drawing of your family home. Instead of saying ‘Good job!’ – which is vague, and a meaningless phrase for kids – focus on what’s good about it: ‘I love how much detail you’ve put into this!’ Focus on the effort rather than the end result. That way your child won’t only behave to seek your approval, but also be able to separate their abilities and achievements from their core sense of self. Rather than calling them a good girl or boy for finishing their dinner, you could say: ‘I’m so happy you ate all your vegetables tonight!’


4. Constructive feedback

When it comes to voicing a negative opinion, watch that you don’t just say ‘no’ or ‘don’t’ – elaborate on why, in easily understandable terms. Instead of using words like ‘should’ and ‘must’, have meaningful conversations: ‘Why do you think it’s important to clean your room? Because as an adult you’ll have to keep things neat and organised.’ A great way to introduce your kids to these ideas is through videos like The Rude Robot, in which a character learns good manners from those around him. Videos like this are a positive, gentle way to reinforce basic life lessons without preaching.


5. Goal-setting

When you think about your child’s future, note down different kinds of goals: daily goals, for example, or those within a school term or the school holidays. Explain the bigger picture to them – for example, if you do your daily piano practice, one day you’ll play in a school concert. Develop a step-by-step plan for achieving goals, and celebrate the milestones, no matter how small. And another important point: cultivate different talents and goals for siblings. Direct comparison between brothers and sisters can ruin the best-laid plans!


6. Be a role model

Kids often focus more on what you do rather than what you say. If you model polite manners, model good conflict resolution, hone your own interests and work towards your own goals, they’ll notice this and try to copy your behaviour. Point out your own interests – the ways you learn information, your hobbies, the way you talk through things with your friends. And model that empathy both ways – listen to what your child is saying and feeling, choose your battles with them and follow through on any promises you make.


We hope these tips are a useful starting point for you and your children, now and for years to come!